Hi community, I wanted to share a small update and perhaps offer a little glimmer of hope to anyone else currently going through the darkest, final chapters of end-of-life care.

In the early stages of looking after my dad, I was always caught up with the practical things, pain management schedules, adjusting pillows, changing sheets, tracking heart rates, and feeling like an inexperienced panicked nurse rather than a daughter. But over the last couple of weeks, we’ve entered the palliative stage and somehow last night I learned to slow down the chaos.

Usually, after settling my dad down for the night, it’s a rush to finish the chores so I can go to bed as soon as possible. And as usual, I was really tired by the time I got him settled. He always had trouble sleeping and I decided that I could take a break as well, and sit by his bed while he tried to fall asleep. I put on a soft instrumental playlist of old songs he used to play when I was a kid, hoping that it would help him fall asleep easier. He has been too weak to talk for awhile now, so I just held his hand. His grip was very light but I could tell he tried to squeeze my hand. We sat there together in the dim light, listening to the music.

The chores still had to be done and the reality was the same but for those few minutes together, there was no rush and there was no panic. At the end of the day, regardless of the circumstances, we are still just a father that loves his daughter and a daughter who loves her father back.

If you are in the thick of the final stages right now, I hope you can find those tiny pockets of grace and peace. Remember to slow down, and truly truly cherish the last moments together.